This is my protest…
This week has been one of mourning. One of feeling alll the feels. I have been feeling so PROTECTIVE of Black Women. For all the Black women I know and love. I have felt a sense of urgency toward action but also feeling,“This is tew much.” Instead of trying to galvanized all Black women everywhere in the US I decided to reach out to the Black women I know. I texted every Black woman I know to say: “I love you, let me know how I can support you, and tell me for real how you feeling.” When Black bodies are murdered and lyndched in America I work had to remind myself of my everyday protest. I have to remind myself that my body, being present with my body, taking up space with my body; experiencing rest, love and joy in my body is my everyday protest.
In my profession many have said that the body holds the trauma. Your body remembers what it felt like to be in traumatic places. Oftentimes, I have to reflect on my own experiences and my own struggles. Reminder’s here that trauma is sexual, physical, sudden loss, prolonged grief, medical diagnosis, Covid-19 Pandemic, Racial Stress, transitions, death, natural disasters, an election year and the list can go on and on.
I am learning from other professionals in my field how healing happens in the body. It is our bodies that have carried us through it all. It is our bodies that have learned to adapt and pivot in a global crisis, in the middle of an election, in the wake of the death of another unarmed Black woman.
What does the body do? It turns to its own security system: fight, flight, or freeze and sometimes fawn. When a threat is close, the body turns to these four. It will fight its way out, it will run like hell, or it will freeze just to wait until it’s safe to move. And sometimes, it will please and appease the person threatening violence. Just say yes, just obey. Just do. Anything to stay safe.
Notice what’s happening to your body even now. What memories have been triggered? What emotions are turning on right now in your body? Where do you feel it? What is this energy stirring in you? What do you feel like you need to do?
When trauma or something happens to trigger us, our bodies try to keep us safe. It tries to fight, run, freeze or please. Whatever it takes to keep you safe. Due to all of the trauma our brains and bodies have experienced we need time to slow down to listen to what our bodies need. Give it permission. Give it A SPACE and A SPECIFIC TIME. Share it with someone from your TRIBE.
I’ve been reading a book called, “The Wisdom of your body,” written by Hilary McBride. She makes a point about how some of our bodies (Black and Brown/marginalized bodies) have been policed, abused and threatened. She says, for some the body has been the site of oppression. Racial trauma is a form of oppression that IMPACTS the body. From her book I have felt so encouraged to honor the ways that my body has had to protect me from the weight of oppression in AMERICA. When I am trying to create safety and healing in my own body and encouraging my own clients to create safety, I tell them to thank their body.
I say: Thank your body for the way this vessel has carried you through. At times you thought, that this body had abandoned you. But actually it has been carrying you through. If you are use to intellectualizing your pain and suffering, take a moment, hand on or heart, eyes closed, get connected with your breath and say thank you. Say, thank you for carraying me through it all.
This is how we heal. We heal through connection y’all. Connecting to others but also connecting to our own bodies. It was your body who was your first witness to your joy and your pain. Your body, was your first witness to pleasure and disappointment.
It was your body who witnessed your rage and your confusion. It was your body who bore witness to the pain first. Thank your body by giving yourself permission to feel and validate what you have lived through. Those things happened. They shouldn’t have happened. And your body carried you. Now, even now, you are safe enough to feel. This sadness, these emotions won’t overtake you. The body will heal, if you give it permission to feel.
Remember healing is not a destination, but a lifelong journey. Take your time. Your body will carry you through.
Joi McGowan,LPC
Photo credit: Hawa Images
